Men, tell your kids to go upstairs and advise your wives to leave the room, because you’re about to witness what’s tantamount to straight-up, hardcore porn. You have to sit through the ludicrous story at the beginning where everyone struts around before getting into the nitty gritty, but oh boy — that nitty is gritty. This is the stuff that blue-blooded, steel-hearted, freedom-loving, commie-stomping American dreams are made of.

While I don’t suffer Mythbusters gladly, I appreciate their efforts. They won’t let real men shoot guns on TV anymore, so they might as well get to do it. I’m a bigger fan of unadulterated slow-mo action. It lets me ponder how free I feel while taking in the sights. I’d be a much bigger fan of the whole business if Uncle Sam himself was shooting the pistols, but I don’t get to make the rules.