My name is Ronnie O’Sullivan and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of playing snooker that I developed over two seasons of fighting in pubs in Cork. It’s called O’Sullivan Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to play snooker with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
My name is Devon Larratt, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of arm-wrestling that I learned over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Devon Larratt Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to wrestle with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a drummer.
Hey, did you know that making miniature cars from antique sewing machines is a “thing?” Me neither. But it is. There’s tons of guys on these here intertunnels making little sewing machine cars from old Singers. Of course I imagine the antique sewing machines were worth more before they got busted up for parts, but art ain’t always about commerce, is it?
The untamed fields of rich, wavy follicles adorning the face of every man can give an accurate picture of whether they’re the sort of person you want to associate yourself with. For example, growing out a full beard takes patience. Women are attracted to patient men because it means they’re perfectly suited to dealing with everyday problems in a level headed manner that won’t cause extra stress — and they can use the beard to store personal items.
A man with just a mustache can send mixed messages depending on the style of soup strainer they’re sporting. Anything along the lines of what Nietzsche had is acceptable, but after that it can get tricky. With a few strokes of a razor you can go from lumberjack, to pedophile, to genocidal dictator, so be careful out there.
Now, with all that information taken into account, we here at the BSBFB really can’t recommend drinking hair tonic to make your beard grow. It may be poison, which is bad enough, but it tastes like Zima, which is worse.