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Author: aubuchon

A Little Bit of Junkyard Heaven: Clutching Buds in the Mud

A Little Bit of Junkyard Heaven: Clutching Buds in the Mud

Our old friends Cold War Motors are back with a new vidjayo, and it’s the usual glorious gas-powered foolishness. They’re hunting the elusive Mopar slant-six engine. A slant six has six cylinders all in a row, canted to one side. I loved my slant six Dart beater back in the day. The whole (stage) left side of the engine compartment is empty, and you can put your feet in there while sitting on the fender and banging on the engine, which you’ll do quite often, because Mopar.

Cold War Motors

The Wizard of Oz 2: The Reckoning

The Wizard of Oz 2: The Reckoning

This time it’s personal.

If your movie ad doesn’t start with a gravelly voiced man saying “In a world where…”, then I don’t want to see it.

Even if it’s a children’s movie or a rom-com, it needs to strictly adhere to the format. I don’t care if it’s starring the damn Care Bears. Hollywood has lost the knack. We need to band together to get the movie industry back on track. No more lame, tame, safe movies with timid trailers. I want hard hitting trailers, about hardcore movies, overdubbed by chain-smokers.

Taters

Taters

Someone sneezed on the subway! I know, why don’t we chuck in this rat-race in the city and move to the sticks to grow our own food? How hard could it be, really? If we can write javascript add-ons for social media pages, we’re certainly smarter and more resourceful than some dopey farmer. All we need is an angel investor to buy us a small county in flyover country, purchase more rolling machinery than any European military currently fields, and most importantly, we need a website!

Let’s start with the website. It’s raining out.

We Shouldn’t Sit in the Stands Anymore

We Shouldn’t Sit in the Stands Anymore


We’re all currently busy not sitting in the stands. Everything sport-like is closed down. I heartily approve, but not as a temporary measure. They’re thinking of having the NFL play in empty stadiums so you can watch it on TV and sneeze at home. But your couch is just the stands. We should refuse to go back to the stands, period.

These fellows in the video aren’t watching racing. They’re racing. Hell, even quarantined kids racing on their gaming consoles are doing something, instead of just watching something. Everyone should build go karts if they can (it’s not that hard, I’ve done it), and race them. We should all play baseball with our neighbors again. Amateur sports shouldn’t pay. All the ringers should be sent home from college, to let students play against each other again. Drafting college kids to play professional sports should be banned. Let pros fend for themselves.

Let’s do things, not watch things. We did it before. We can do it again.