Our old friends Cold War Motors are back with a new vidjayo, and it’s the usual glorious gas-powered foolishness. They’re hunting the elusive Mopar slant-six engine. A slant six has six cylinders all in a row, canted to one side. I loved my slant six Dart beater back in the day. The whole (stage) left side of the engine compartment is empty, and you can put your feet in there while sitting on the fender and banging on the engine, which you’ll do quite often, because Mopar.
This time it’s personal.
If your movie ad doesn’t start with a gravelly voiced man saying “In a world where…”, then I don’t want to see it.
Even if it’s a children’s movie or a rom-com, it needs to strictly adhere to the format. I don’t care if it’s starring the damn Care Bears. Hollywood has lost the knack. We need to band together to get the movie industry back on track. No more lame, tame, safe movies with timid trailers. I want hard hitting trailers, about hardcore movies, overdubbed by chain-smokers.
Let’s start with the website. It’s raining out.
We’re all currently busy not sitting in the stands. Everything sport-like is closed down. I heartily approve, but not as a temporary measure. They’re thinking of having the NFL play in empty stadiums so you can watch it on TV and sneeze at home. But your couch is just the stands. We should refuse to go back to the stands, period.
These fellows in the video aren’t watching racing. They’re racing. Hell, even quarantined kids racing on their gaming consoles are doing something, instead of just watching something. Everyone should build go karts if they can (it’s not that hard, I’ve done it), and race them. We should all play baseball with our neighbors again. Amateur sports shouldn’t pay. All the ringers should be sent home from college, to let students play against each other again. Drafting college kids to play professional sports should be banned. Let pros fend for themselves.
Let’s do things, not watch things. We did it before. We can do it again.