In the Kitchen, Makin’ Beets

In the Kitchen, Makin’ Beets

Kraftwerk would’ve loved this guy. Not only did Stephen here build his own synthesizer, he also built it out of regular kitchen stuff. He’s out-krafted the werk!

Now I only wanna listen to kitchen music. I’ve made up my mind. Don’t show me a song unless it was made in a kitchen. No other room in the house will cut it for me. I treat music like food now. You wouldn’t eat food that was cooked in the bathroom, would you?

Mad Donut Ramblings

Mad Donut Ramblings

I love donuts. Donuts are my favorite food. They are so delicious and sweet. I buy a box of donuts every day and have them at every meal. I talk to people about donuts. I watch this video about making donuts. I like looking at donuts. I even talk to donuts. I softly whisper into the box, “I love you donuts.” Donuts are love, donuts are life.

Mmm, donuts.

This Coffee Tastes Funny

This Coffee Tastes Funny

Bought myself a smart coffee machine the other day. It’s absolutely brilliant. Not only does it make coffee, but it also browses the intertunnels on a built-in touchscreen. That way, I could browse Facebook while I’m waiting for my cappuccino. I could, but I don’t, because Facebook sucks worse than decaf coffee. The touchscreen also has a calculator, weather forecast app, and a clock for every timezone in the world. My smart coffee machine also doubles as a speaker system and media center. It even has a sub-woofer for when you really wanna party. Finally, the coffee machine even has its own social network called “Espress-Go” for people with the same machine. Right now, the hottest trend on Espress-Go is the “Hot Coffee in 5 Seconds Challenge.” I mean this gadget has it all!

The coffee tastes horrible. Details, details.

Jackson Pollock Eat Your Heart Out

Jackson Pollock Eat Your Heart Out

Y’know, I was a bit of an artist myself. But I didn’t paint sunsets or pretty women or anything like that. Instead, I made state IDs. That was my little art project. I would come up with a fake name and made-up credentials which would wildly differ in each card. Then, for the photo, I would dress up and wear make-up to change my appearance. I’d basically come up with an imaginary person with each state ID I created. I would even pretend to be that imaginary person sometimes.

Later, I discovered that I was what they called a “con-artist”, and apparently it was illegal. Some people just don’t understand art, do they?