No One On The Internet Knows Anything, Except How To Be On the Internet

No One On The Internet Knows Anything, Except How To Be On the Internet

Well, these sawblades don’t seem to work well as snow tires. The videographers only speak metric, so I have no idea how to compare apples to hectares or anything, but I could have saved them a lot of trouble and told them it wouldn’t work well before they even tried it.  I can immediately see two flaws in the plan: Giant saw blades cost much more than snow tires. Strike one. Strike two is they don’t understand how saw blades work. They’ve mounted them on the axles facing the same way they’d be placed in stationary machine to cut wood. If they knew anything about saws, they’d have mounted the blades facing backwards. Then it would have moved the car forward without cutting into the ice much, but would also completely stop the car from sliding backwards, and the braking would have been amazing. That’s what good tires do anyway. Ham and egg carpenters mount their blades backward in chop saws to cut soft metals like brass sorta safely for the same reason.

Wallace and Gromit and Tom

Wallace and Gromit and Tom

Of course you have to hum the superb Mission Impossible theme in your head as you’re watching this excellent Mission Impossible stop motion video to get the full effect. The theme from the TV show. As I recall, the Mission Impossible theme song was the only entertaining thing about the Mission Impossible TV show. Oh, and the self-destructing tape recorder was pretty cool. And Barbara Bain’s hair never moved. That was pretty interesting. And Peter Graves had that kind of a stentorian voice that made you wonder if he liked gladiator movies, long before Airplane, the Movie. Hey, you know, that show wasn’t really that bad.

You Forgot The Short Pants

You Forgot The Short Pants

How to write an AC/DC song. Yeah, it’s glorious, Yeah, it’s right on the money. But they forgot to mention that you have to wear short pants while you’re composing and playing the song. And one more thing; you don’t sing like Marge Simpson to finish the effect. You sing like Patty and Selma Bouvier.