They’ve done it again, and I ain’t even mad. After this long you’d think that nothing coming out of Japan would surprise me; but this did. I’m not only surprised, I am impressed. I have no idea what’s happening, I am appalled by everything, and I want to vomit. The vomiting may just be incidental, considering I ate a twelve pack of foot-long Slim Jims for dinner, and washed it down with a fifteen year old bottle of Crystal Pepsi.

But my deplorable eating habits are not the issue here. The issue is whether we dropped too many A-bombs on Japan, or not nearly enough. At the moment, I’m leaning toward too many. I think the radiation did something weird to their national psyche to make them want to publicly broadcast this drivel. Or, perhaps I’m just a stick in the mud and need to get with the times.

It’s like, 2010, I think; I need to loosen up. I’m pretty sure Clinton is still president, but I’d need to check.