I’d really like to see a battle royale between every type of street performer. Any kind of fight to the death involving jugglers, magicians, buskers, and mimes would be delightful. If you filmed it and then sold it to the general public you’d make a killing. Everyone loves a good melee, especially when there’s a fair chance that mimes will be harmed in some way.
In a true street performer melee, I’d put my money on the magicians. They saw people in half for giggles. Lord only knows what else they have up their sleeves. Magicians are usually kinda scrawny, but they do have that evil Van Dyke beard thing to scare their opponents. Don’t sleep on the magicians!
Well, the script is a little repetitive, but it’s still better than the end of Game of Thrones, you have to admit.
Me, I get all of my strong potions from my dad’s desk. He tells me not to tell mom about it, because she made him throw away all of his strongest potions when they got hitched. She says that dad goes out on epic quests whenever he drinks strong potions, so he’s not allowed to partake anymore. She says he has a family to take care of now and needs to act responsibly. But he’s an adventurer at heart, so he keeps them around anyway. Every once and a while he lets me take a sip of his potions, and I get the urge to go out and battle my enemies. I also get a headache.
Of course, I’d need a fake ID if I ever wanted to buy my own strong potions. I’m only a level 18 knight, and I’m not allowed to buy potions until I’m level 21. And remember, kids: don’t potion and drive!
I don’t know who or what Super Fuzz is, but he’s sorta my hero. It’s hard to look cool in the electric chair, but somehow, he manages it. I mean, c’mon, he even puts on his trucker cap like a boss . But who is he? I need to know what on Earth is happening, and I need to know now.
I went to the local library and asked them if they had anything on Super Fuzz, but they said that if I wasn’t going to buy anything I would be escorted out. Technically, the magazine rack at Walmart doesn’t count as a library, but I felt they were a little brusque. Frustrated, I went downtown to the hall of records. They told me they really don’t carry those sorts of records. They said the music was piped in from somewhere, they weren’t exactly sure how it worked, but an instrumental version of Lady in Red got played most days, which was nice.
The intertunnel, who always knows and always watches, says:
Super Fuzz or Poliziotto superpiù is an Italian comedy film about Dave Speed, a bumbling Miami police officer who gains super powers through accidental nuclear exposure.
That’s only a hint of a scintilla of a clue, really. I need to know where I can subscribe to his newsletter, buy his VHS tapes, and where to attend his TED talk. I’ll keep hunting around and let you know what I find out. In the meantime, I’m going to go expose myself to nuclear radiation. I don’t know if deliberate nuclear exposure is as good as accidental nuclear exposure, but it’s worth a try.
It’s Not The Fall That Kills You, It’s The Sudden Stop At The End
It takes a certain kind of man to fall elegantly. It’s even harder to land gracefully. That’s why we are currently holding our 2019 BSBFB Nasty Fall Competition. The winner will take home all the quarters in the company swear jar, if you can lift it, which I doubt.
Here comes our first contestant, a Mr. Ryan from Mobile, Alabama. His entry was a little rough, what with all the drywall and insulation he had to go through, but he kept his head through the initial bash. On the way down he performed a very impressive cul chute, while bracing for the inevitable impact. He stuck the landing while retaining full control of his bladder and bowels, another mark in his favor.
Right now we’re seeing 10s across the board. The Bulgarian judge only gave him a 6.2, but he’s been drinking brake fluid, so we don’t count it.