The University of Alabama Girls Have Fallen. Long Live the Hot Shots Calendar Girls

The University of Alabama Girls Have Fallen. Long Live the Hot Shots Calendar Girls

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Well, apparently someone took me up on my sarcastic suggestion to report the girls from the University of Alabama Sorority video for having fun, or not wearing Birkenstocks and wool socks, or not protesting outside of a Chik-Fil-A, or just generally seeming to have fun, which is verboten nowadays. Their video is yanked from the Intertunnel. This aggression will not stand.

In solidarity with our sisters in the sorority, we’ve decided to bring the heavy artillery to the imagined oppression fight. The heavy cannons. The big guns. The Berthas.

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Oh Dear. Pretty Girls. Someone Report Them

Oh Dear. Pretty Girls. Someone Report Them

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[Update: Apparently someone did report them for being pretty or something and they yanked the video. We’ll keep posting duplicates as necessary]

There seems to be some sort of controversy surrounding this video. Almost a million people have viewed it so far, and I imagine the counter will continue to spin like Carrie Nation in her grave. Almost as many people dislike the video as like it, according to the little counter. I guarantee one hundred and thirty percent of the dislikes are from girls.

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More Robots Are A Good Thing — Because Robots

More Robots Are A Good Thing — Because Robots

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrjAa1SgjQ

I always knew Google would betray us, but I never thought it would be like this. I thought they’d just sell all of our information to Russian gangsters and leave it at that. Who knew that they would help create these lumbering monstrosities. They can barely keep a search engine running, and now these freaks are supposedly going to be our chauffeurs. They’re going to send out terrifying, semi-drunk robots to run through the woods and find us wherever we are. Any time we google something, a robot is going to come lumbering out of the woods and blurt out the first ten things that Google autocompletes on your iPhone.

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This Is Essentially Pornography

This Is Essentially Pornography

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Men, tell your kids to go upstairs and advise your wives to leave the room, because you’re about to witness what’s tantamount to straight-up, hardcore porn. You have to sit through the ludicrous story at the beginning where everyone struts around before getting into the nitty gritty, but oh boy — that nitty is gritty. This is the stuff that blue-blooded, steel-hearted, freedom-loving, commie-stomping American dreams are made of.

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