It’s Their World, We’re Just Living In It

It’s Their World, We’re Just Living In It

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Onward and upward! Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more. Let your freak flag fly! Let it shine like a beacon as you parade down the terraces of whatever fair city you happen to be terrorizing. Don’t stop for anyone or any thing. Keep marching. Even if the entire city is on fire: you keep going. Don’t let any man, woman, child, government, or armed militia stand in your way. When the going gets rough, you keep going. And send me postcards whenever you raze somewhere interesting.

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Worst. Paper Route. Ever

Worst. Paper Route. Ever

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My name is Kamer Kolar, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of going real fast, dude, that I developed over two seasons of drinking three Red Bulls before breakfast, a Monster before lunch, and three more Red Bulls before dinner. It’s called Kamer Kolar Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to dominate some gnarly corners with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

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Everybody, Sing Along! Dun Dun Dah Da Dun Dun Dun Dun Dah

Everybody, Sing Along! Dun Dun Dah Da Dun Dun Dun Dun Dah

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti-bpjcPD40

I don’t know why, but I’m getting the uncontrollable urge to go out and hit a widget with a hammer. A big hammer. A big, burly hammer that puts hair on your chest every time you whack something. Actually, scratch that. I want a huge open-end wrench made out of gnarly cast iron. I’ll go around tightening huge bolts and beating massive boilers until boiling-hot oil come bursting out and gives me severe burns across the better half of my body. Wait — scratch that last part.

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Хотя мой Гармоника Осторожно плачет

Хотя мой Гармоника Осторожно плачет

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Welcome everybody to Dimitri’s benevolent, government-approved music of the people television showing! Everyone is happy, having fun, fun, fun! Look at all of the women we have brought from the happy-goodtime  work-vacation camps. All of them are strong like bull. They do their part to crush filthy, capitalist dogs and Western fatcat bullies underneath the mighty foot of our democratic people’s republic!

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