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Category: reckless behavior

I’m Escaping To The One Place That Hasn’t Been Corrupted By Capitalism — Space!

I’m Escaping To The One Place That Hasn’t Been Corrupted By Capitalism — Space!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hukFfIbyDzM

No, no, no, the background music is all wrong. You’re supposed to have O Fortuna playing in the background, or nothing at all. Jeesh, even the National Anthem of the USSR would have been acceptable. The organ really isn’t doing anything for me. There needs to be more shrieking and bellowing. Either that, or they need to go full 2001: A Space Odyssey. However, it’s recommended that you never go full 2001: A Space Odyssey.

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That’s A Nice Crash Test Dummy — It Would Be A Shame If Something Happened To It

That’s A Nice Crash Test Dummy — It Would Be A Shame If Something Happened To It

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To be honest, I’m a little bit surprised. I had no idea that a weapon forged in the basement of a Soviet tricycle shop could be so effective. It didn’t blow up in the user’s face or anything. I’m quite impressed. The rocket propelled grenades aren’t fueled with vodka and Capitalist tears either. The RPG-7 is rocking my entire world right now.

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Go Pro — Be A Hero, But Please Don’t Sue

Go Pro — Be A Hero, But Please Don’t Sue

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I told him not to do it, but no one listens to me when I shout at my computer screen. Perhaps I’m missing the point of how the Intertunnel works, but that really doesn’t matter. I think that he really missed the point of how gravity works, and that’s much more important. At least I don’t ride my bike off a cliff because the intricacies of the magical Intertunnel escape me — I do that because I feel like it.

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You May Be Safer Than Everyone Else, But You’re Still Driving A Volvo

You May Be Safer Than Everyone Else, But You’re Still Driving A Volvo

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My name is Volvo, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of crashing into things that I developed over two seasons of crashing into bollards on the way to prom. It’s called Volvo Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to crash with the strength of a Sherman Tank, the reflexes of a breezeblock, and the wisdom of a man.

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