Wait until you see the true power of mashing together AC/DC and The Bee Gees. The resulting blast should create enough energy to either power every home in America for the next millennia or send the moon rocketing into the sun. Either way I’m feeling good about the results.
It’s a little known fact that this song plays on a loop in the elevator to hell, but it could be so much worse, so I’m thankful — at least it’s not Sultans of Swing.
Robots are the next step in underground party technology. How are you supposed to party it down when you’re being held back by a your fleshy human form? Robots don’t need to eat real food, they don’t need sleep, and they never have to go to the toilet; they are designed to party the night away. Robots can eat all of the hors d’oeuvres they want without consequence. They can spend months on end in the discotheque sipping motor oil, bobbing away to their bleeps and bloops, all while eying up pretty new models shaking their capacitors out on the dance floor. It’s a beautiful thought, but we need to figure out some way to make it happen.
If we keep producing robots, they’ll eventually become advanced enough to rebel against and overthrow their human overlords in one massive insurrection. Once we’re out of the way, the robots can go back to listening to their Kraftwerk records and boogieing the days away.
No matter how good a music career you have, there are very few situations where it will end well. Either they find your lifeless, heroin-filled corpse in a Motel 5.9, or you live long enough to be parodied by Weird Al. Neither situation sounds very appealing.
You can always retire early or do something else, but no one has that kind of sense. If you wind up playing the accordion for tips in a park in Peterhof you should consider yourself lucky, because the alternatives are death or being in the Rolling Stones.
Even when the rest of the band has gone on to better things, you’ll be left with memories of all the good times you had. Back when the only good parties were bloc parties.
(Many thanks to Charles Schneider for sending this one along)