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I Didn’t Know You Could Get That Loaded

I Didn’t Know You Could Get That Loaded

There must have been a pretty strong wind that day centralized in a three feet area around that one guy and his friend. It looks like it’s only about three in the afternoon, so I don’t know why they’re trying to go home so early, they have about another seven hours of drinking ahead of them. If they stayed in the bar they could have completely avoided the wind and everything would have been dandy. There’s nothing that another liter of vodka can’t fix.

I’ve watched so many YouTube videos over my lifetime I’m beginning to recognize patterns everywhere. We’ve essentially been watching the same five videos over and over again with slightly different music in the background. Example one:

Did I just blow your mind? Because I think I just blew my own mind.

Still Better Than 99 Percent Of What Comes Out Of The Radio

Still Better Than 99 Percent Of What Comes Out Of The Radio

I’m referring to what comes out of your radio, of course. Only solid gold emanates from my radio, and I’m not going to tell you the station. It’s a secret I’ve been sworn to protect, and I’m not going to let anyone get their grubby hands on it. You might as well try to tune into 108.5 for all the good it’ll do you. I’m going to throw a really sweet party, and have the best radio station on Earth playing, and no one is invited.

(Many thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending this one along)

I’m On A Highway To Ravel

I’m On A Highway To Ravel

I’m telling you right now that Gioachino Rossini would not like this one bit. The old Italian has been dead for almost 200 years, but I doubt that will stop him from rising from the grave and messily reenacting the bit where William Tell shoots the apple off his son’s head. Not that these guys didn’t do a good job; on the contrary, they performed with more gusto than Iron Maiden and Rossini combined. I’m simply observing that people who have been dead for 200 years tend to be a bit cranky.

How To Woo Women: Volumes 1 – 24

How To Woo Women: Volumes 1 – 24

His mullet has an excellent business to party ratio. Just enough hair up front to let everyone know that he’s serious, but with enough unkempt mane in the back so everyone knows he’s a chill dude. He needs to go out and get some token tribal tattoos to complete his mullet, leather vest, and aviators ensemble. Maybe he can top his evening off by driving home in his Pontiac Firebird Trans Am and throwing a couple of cold beers on the grill and eat a raw, bloody steak — or whatever.

If I were of the female persuasion, I would think twice before pepper-spraying him in the face and calling the police.