Robots are the next step in underground party technology. How are you supposed to party it down when you’re being held back by a your fleshy human form? Robots don’t need to eat real food, they don’t need sleep, and they never have to go to the toilet; they are designed to party the night away. Robots can eat all of the hors d’oeuvres they want without consequence. They can spend months on end in the discotheque sipping motor oil, bobbing away to their bleeps and bloops, all while eying up pretty new models shaking their capacitors out on the dance floor. It’s a beautiful thought, but we need to figure out some way to make it happen.

If we keep producing robots, they’ll eventually become advanced enough to rebel against and overthrow their human overlords in one massive insurrection. Once we’re out of the way, the robots can go back to listening to their Kraftwerk records and boogieing the days away.