My name is Jerry Donahue and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of metal that I developed over two seasons of rocking out in my Mom’s basement. It’s called Jerry Donahue Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to play metal with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
Welcome everybody to Dimitri’s benevolent, government-approved music of the people television showing! Everyone is happy, having fun, fun, fun! Look at all of the women we have brought from the happy-goodtime work-vacation camps. All of them are strong like bull. They do their part to crush filthy, capitalist dogs and Western fatcat bullies underneath the mighty foot of our democratic people’s republic!