BSBFB

Look, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. If you don’t know who Mike Mulligan is, you should just quietly show yourself out. We promise not to make fun of you, at least until you leave. But the mocking will be gentle, we promise. It’s not your fault you weren’t raised right. Nobody picks their parents. Or maybe you had fine parents, but your local library stinks. It’s full of books about caring and sharing, with nothing about digging big, honking holes. Once again: not your fault.

If you do know who Mike Mulligan is, you’re in the right place. Enjoy.

A typical high school education no longer includes gutting a moose, or selecting fuses for dynamite charges, or machete whittling skills, or bulldozer etiquette. That’s a shame. Back in the day, we all got turn on the Case dozer most every day, right after spelling and grammar. I’m confused by this particular video, though. The instructor seems to be sitting in a comfy recliner, inside some sort of phone booth. We always sat on a Naugahyde seat with big areas of steel peeking through the duct tape. You sat directly under a bent roll bar, freebasing diesel smoke. This way is better, I think.

Can you imagine what it’s like working in a hostile workplace? Coworkers making cutting remarks, people looking at you funny just because you’re dressed for cosplay after work. You didn’t get promoted even though you’ve been working there for nearly four months. This one time, several people went out to lunch and didn’t invite you. One time, an unattractive person even had the nerve to ask you out on a date.

This guy in the video has it easy, comparatively. If the fellows on the ground make wisecracks, he probably can’t hear them because he’s 50 feet in the air and panting like an Olympic oarsman. And I bet he gets paid pretty well, even though he can’t even code a simple PHP app. Life’s not fair, I tell you.