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Category: honest work

Hotter Than a Fifty Dollar Rolex

Hotter Than a Fifty Dollar Rolex

We need new idiomatic expressions. If you’re not familiar with the term idiomatic expressions, it doesn’t refer to the look you get on your face when you hit your thumb with a hammer. It refers to popular sayings that are pregnant with additional meanings. You know, things like, “hold your horses.” Well, this dude can hold a blob of 2000-degree glass and get a horse to hold out of it. He can make a Ferrari hood ornament out of melted sand. We have to come up with a new expression in his honor. How about “more expensive than a glass Ferrari.” Done.

(Thanks to longtime reader and contributor H.J. Briscoe for sending that one along)

If You Don’t Know Mike Mulligan, I Don’t Want To Know You

If You Don’t Know Mike Mulligan, I Don’t Want To Know You

Look, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. If you don’t know who Mike Mulligan is, you should just quietly show yourself out. We promise not to make fun of you, at least until you leave. But the mocking will be gentle, we promise. It’s not your fault you weren’t raised right. Nobody picks their parents. Or maybe you had fine parents, but your local library stinks. It’s full of books about caring and sharing, with nothing about digging big, honking holes. Once again: not your fault.

If you do know who Mike Mulligan is, you’re in the right place. Enjoy.

Hand Me That Spanner, Will You Horst?

Hand Me That Spanner, Will You Horst?

No wonder the German economy is in the toilet. Well, OK, it’s not in the toilet. Actually, it’s almost always pretty good. I mean, one of the biggest in the world.

Let’s start over. No wonder the German economy is only eleventy times bigger than the Greek economy. The fools have let this video of how to make a BMW motorcycle engine get out on the internet! Now I can simply watch the video, and then make my own BMW engine. Why would anyone buy one when the instructions are right online?

Say can anyone suggest a video on how to make a BMW motorcycle chassis? I’m asking for a friend.

 

BSBFB Skills: The Bulldozer

BSBFB Skills: The Bulldozer

A typical high school education no longer includes gutting a moose, or selecting fuses for dynamite charges, or machete whittling skills, or bulldozer etiquette. That’s a shame. Back in the day, we all got turn on the Case dozer most every day, right after spelling and grammar. I’m confused by this particular video, though. The instructor seems to be sitting in a comfy recliner, inside some sort of phone booth. We always sat on a Naugahyde seat with big areas of steel peeking through the duct tape. You sat directly under a bent roll bar, freebasing diesel smoke. This way is better, I think.