[Warning: Some unintelligible salty language]

Are you havin a giggle, mate? I swear, you are one cheeky berk, mate. One more word outta you and I’ll hook you right in the gabber. I swear on me mum I’ll turn you into toast, mate. Now shut your mouth or I’m callin in me boys and you’ll be in for a proper rumble. I’ll shank your nan outside Tescos, I will. You’ll be a right mess, ya muppet.

Oi, Oi! You better watch it, mate, or I’ll do your windys in. Be careful or I’ll have ya, ya right bastid. I’ll nick your trackies faster than your nancy face can fart. You’re a load of naff, mate, and you better watch it from now on. If I catch you gawpin again I’ll give you a right pummel. Now bugger off before I lose me temper — mate.