Hi, I’m a Moron. I Wear Flip-Flops to the Junkyard

Hi, I’m a Moron. I Wear Flip-Flops to the Junkyard

Flip-Flops to the junkyard. To. The. Junkyard.

I’ve been to the junkyard, plenty. As a matter of fact, I’ve been to the junkyard to get parts for 1960s Mustangs, and their idiot adopted cousin, the Fairlane. A proper junkyard is full of snakes, yo. As a matter of fact, we used to go snake hunting in the junkyard. You’re going car hunting in a snakeyard.  Wearing toddler shorts ain’t helping your look, either, dude. And you keep returning to the junkyard without any tools. You’re on the Motor Trend channel, so you’re obviously dilettantes, so we’ll move on.

Then you pick out a ’69 fastback from the selection of Mustangs. You get bonus points for calling it a “Disgustang.” Borderline clever, that. I hate to break it to you, but the older Mustangs are better. Your observation that a ’64 to ’66 Mustang is a girlie version of the car is, well, a girlyman’s idea of what a real man’s Mustang would be. You’re buying a Mary Tyler Moore daily driver, thinking it’s a Mad Max hot rod. Your fastback is  right next door to a Maverick (shudder).

Look, I’m finding fault where there isn’t much. A ’69 Mustang restoration is God’s work. You’re minor angels in God’s garage, but angels nonetheless.

7 thoughts on “Hi, I’m a Moron. I Wear Flip-Flops to the Junkyard

  1. Fastback Mustang…two words – Steve. McQueen.

    C’mon…very disappointed BSBFB…very.

  2. Hi Tim- Thanks for reading and commenting at the BSBFB.

    Well, in my defense, Steve McQueen’s Bullitt car was a 1968 model with a 391 engine in it. The one in the video is a ’69 with a 351 Windsor, not even a Cleveland. I always preferred the 302, anyway.

    And Steve McQueen wouldn’t visit a junkyard in flop flops. Barefoot, maybe, but not flipflops.

  3. Steve McQueen (PBUH) had *people* who visited junkyards for him. Mostly, his job was filling junkyards.

    Flip flops to the junkyard. flip flops to the junkyard. flip. flops. to. the. junkyard. It has a Dada meter to it. I told you you were a Modernist writer, Max.

  4. Eh, wake me when they roadkill a ’77 Chrysler Córdoba. The back seat refuse should be a lot more entertaining – plus the whole neighborhood can ride along.

  5. Hi Jethro- Thanks for reading and commenting at the BSBFB.

    It must be hard for you to keep from mentioning to everyone you meet that you turn your high beams on and off with your left foot. I’d never stop bragging about it.

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