Man, when I was a kid, we’d make these Guillow’s wood framed airplane replicas. They were made of balsa wood, mostly. I loved building those crazy WWI biplanes and triplanes. The construction was unbelievably intricate. It was basically building the actual plane, just smaller. The wings and fuselage would get covered with some sort of flimsy paper stuff, and you’d paint it with some kind of toxic goo that gave you a headache for a month. Then you’d wind up the rubber band motor, the plane would immediately crash, and the whole thing would be destroyed.
Wait, I forgot. I don’t miss that at all.
Back In the Day: Drag Racing With Bill “Grumpy” Jenkins
Ah, 1968. Back then, people called you grumpy if you were simply polite and quiet. Nowadays, everyone’s carrying coffee cups at work that have slogans emblazoned on them threatening to assault you if interrupt them before the coffee’s gone. And no one is called grumpy. The BSBFB hereby calls for a new era of good manners and quiet, polite discourse everywhere in public life. That way, we can stand out from the crowd when we act grumpy. It’s no fun when everyone’s doing it.
Things You Won’t Hear About Modern Stock Car Drivers
I know more about electric cars than Enron Musk, because I had an Aurora Thunderjet 500 racing set when I was a kid. It was a hand-me-down, so the steering wheel controller was snapped off, and you had to hold onto the jagged plastic stub to speed up and slow down. We had more, and better cars, too, but the original set contained a Mustang and a Corvette and that’s enough for any red-blooded kids to argue over.
Today’s console racing games are amazing. Gran Turismo lets you drive just about any car on just about any track against any kind of competition you like. However, it’s entirely imaginary. Taking those old Aurora Thunderjet 500 cars apart and putting them back together was more than half the fun. And you’ll never remember the smell of the Special Racing Oil from a Playstation game.