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Real Men of Genius: Ladder Edition

Real Men of Genius: Ladder Edition

This is the dumbest thing I can imagine. No, not the lavender truck. That’s garden variety dumb. No, not the man holding the ladder. Gravity, leverage, fulcrums, friction, it’s all mysterious to him. But most people are like that. He’s nothing special. The guy in the bucket, sort of helping, but not really helping at all, is unexceptional. Most people just stand aside and let other people hurt themselves if they’re bound and determined to try. The man descending the ladder is a dope, of course, but he’s not the dumbest person involved here.

No, the dumbest thing in this video is the guy holding the camera vertically. The rest is conversation.

Of course I don’t have a heart made of stone. I do care. I hope the shrub is OK.

(Thanks to old friend Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

The Eludium X-15 Explosive Space Modulator.

The Eludium X-15 Explosive Space Modulator.

Aw yeah. Back when NASA and the USAF were still loaded with Borderline Sociopathic Boys, strapping rockets to their butts and whizzing around the barrier between Earth and outer space. Everyone manning the consoles back at the base has a whiffle you set your watch to. There’s no fuel economy stickers in the plane windows yet. We were still naming our airplanes cool things like “X-15.” Heads up, NASA and the US military: If your plane/rocket doesn’t sound like it was named by Marvin the Martian, you’ve failed.

You’ve also got to love the interview with the X-15 design engineer. You know you covet his shop teacher eyeglasses. You can almost hear the pen leaking into his pocket protector inside his suit jacket. When he holds up a little model of the X-15, and you can see the slide-rule callouses on his hands. Old Skool, man.

Who Do You Think You Are, Dillinger?

Who Do You Think You Are, Dillinger?

We’re paying basketball players too much money. We’re asking too many football players for autographs. We’re watching too many baseball games. Fans are altogether too interested in the clothes pro golfers are wearing. We need more sports to pay attention to. The Brits and Irish love their darts, and the matches are a hoot. Billiards is a blast. But I think we’re missing a opportunity here. Archery matches are great, and lends itself to golf-announcer sotto voce commentators, my favorite kind. Besides, there’s a guy named John Dillinger shooting. If he robbed a bank with his bow and arrow, I’d put my hands up and fill the bag with cash. Besides, I think all bank robberies should be closed with polite applause from the onlookers.

A Strong Man, and a Snappy Dresser, Too

A Strong Man, and a Snappy Dresser, Too

Not only is this strong man strong, he’s strong in French. That’s a whole ‘nother level of strong. You’d know that if you ever rode a French subway. Anyway, I’m sort of on the fence about the stripper sandals and the leather diaper/culottes. I have in my time, however, broken many a wine bottle, so I love this guy’s act. Of course I break my booze bottles when they’re still half full when I reach for them for my eighth cocktail, but the idea isĀ  the same. In the same vein, I haven’t had four men stand on me while I lie on a bed of nails, but I did once sleep on a pull out couch with that metal bar in the middle, and my wife had her arm across my neck when I woke up. It’s pretty much the same thing. I’m looking forward to this guy’s next video, when he picks up a thrown newspaper without emitting a loud oof sound when he bends over. That’s a man’s man.