Calm Down Ladies — There’s More Than Enough Of Me To Go Around

Calm Down Ladies — There’s More Than Enough Of Me To Go Around

My name is Harold, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of making women swoon that I developed over two seasons of picking up hot chicks at the nursing home. It’s called Harold Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to play the accordion with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

At Harold Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.

Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! Now, for only $300 you can sign up right now — for my eight-week program.

Here’s a video from the last person to graduate from Harold Kwon Do:

2 thoughts on “Calm Down Ladies — There’s More Than Enough Of Me To Go Around

  1. “Extreme accordion skills”.

    Well, one does not come across such an oxymoronic sentence very often. It’s as if Bigfoot himself has walked right into your house, sat down and cracked a beer….all the while smiling and giving a wink to the startled homeowner…then asks “Is there a ball game on?”

    What do you say, where do you start? Do you start with demanding this enormous creature to get out of your house? Verbally abuse him for helping himself to your beer? Or…realize the ridiculousness of the situation and tell him the use a coaster?

  2. Hi Tim, thank you for reading and commenting.

    In my state, beer-stealing is a capital offense, so that whole situation would have gone a lot differently.

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