The Borderline Sociopathic President Of Volvo Trucks

The Borderline Sociopathic President Of Volvo Trucks


Dude’s Swedish. Shouldn’t his helmet have horns on it?

I picture this guy sitting in the boardroom, making bbbrrrrrttt, ZOOM! noises with his lips while pushing Tonka trucks around on the big mahogany desk they have in there, while his underlings fidget nervously hoping he doesn’t assign them to the marketing department for a week and find themselves dangling from a skyscraper or being dragged down a dirt road, Indiana Jones style, by one of those hooks he’s always droning on about.

I notice he’s wearing a dark suit in the video. Doing a good job at a giant, faceless corporation is like peeing your pants in a dark suit: It might give you a warm feeling for a short time, but no one really notices.

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along)

I Gotta Get My Groove Looked At

I Gotta Get My Groove Looked At


Sometimes, there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, because what’s a hero? But sometimes there’s a man. And I’m talking about this Dude here — sometimes there’s a man who, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there; and that’s this Dude, gettin’ his groove on.

And even if he’s a lazy man — and this Dude was certainly that; quite possibly the laziest in New York State, which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide — but sometimes there’s a man. Sometimes there’s a man… Well, I lost my train of thought here. But — aw hell, he broke his groove.

Women Have A Lot Of Bad Ideas

Women Have A Lot Of Bad Ideas


I mean, seriously, have you seen what women wear? It’s like circus clothes mostly. And they’ll put anything on their feet. Have you ever tried one of those girlie cocktails they’re drinking in the bar? They taste like cough syrup and Fresca mixed together and strained through an underwear drawer sachet. Women even occasionally get the notion they’re qualified to put their cars into reverse while parking. Honestly, women get bad ideas all day long.

But no woman has ever had a worse idea than leaving a baby at home alone with its father. Evar. Nothing good can come of it. A baby can do pretty fair without adult supervision, it’s true. Dad never can.

Some Are Born Great

Some Are Born Great


Some achieve greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. And then there’s this guy, who made a bicycle-operated elevator for his bitchin’ treefort, which was already insanely great before he put the elevator on it.

Note to my readers: The structure in the video is a “treefort.” It is not a treehouse. The very word “treehouse” smacks of non-borderline sociopathic boys. Girls might even be allowed in a treehouse. Proper boys build a treefort. There they gather together to defend said fort from the assaults and incursions and depredations of all the imaginary girls who be even remotely interested in you and your treefort.