All The Best Bands Are Affiliated With Satan — Or Karate

All The Best Bands Are Affiliated With Satan — Or Karate

There is nothing sexier than a confident man and his cinder blocks. A radical trend setter like this has to have at least a dozen groupies on hand at any given moment. This guy is welcome to join my Procol Harum tribute band as soon as he’s done being engulfed in admirers. Admirers of the female persuasion, no doubt. What a guy.

He doesn’t stop there either. His rippling biceps and luscious head of hair give him the air of a Greek god. He appears to have modeled himself after Apollo, the god of music, poetry, and Karate. Karate, of course, being one of his lesser known skills.

After all that he managed to leave us with a little kernel of knowledge to ponder upon. If you watch the video several times the message begins to form right before your eyes. A memo from a great man:

When in doubt, set it on fire. The first-degree burns make you look cool and sophisticated.

Minnesota: Where Canadians Fear To Tread

Minnesota: Where Canadians Fear To Tread

Frosty.

Braving the environment is much more notable than the drivel we normally gawk at here on the BSBFB. BASE jumping and parkour are both alright, I guess. If you weren’t feeling all too adventurous, you could simply break your kneecaps from the comfort of your own kitchen. It would give you the same effect as regular parkour, most people just choose to do it outside so they don’t make a mess of the linoleum. Once you throw Mother Nature into the mix everything gets much more complicated.

Chipping the ice off your face every morning should be an indicator that you’re snoozing where no man should tread — but that’s the point. People are capable of performing enormous feats simply because they feel like it. Sleeping outdoors in the dead of winter in a hammock, for giggles, is no exception. What this guy is doing makes Arctic exploration look passé.

Refreshingly, the fellow in the video seems like a real stand up guy. There’s no salty language, and he has a smile on his face the whole time. A lot can be said about that. He’s also the only person I’ve ever heard refer to -20 degrees Fahrenheit as “balmy”. Then say, “I don’t think this frostbite is going to slow me down from eating this apple fritter.”

A little frostbite never hurt anyone. Dad says it builds character.

[A big Borderline Sociopathic thank you to Leon for reading, commenting, and supplying us with this video]

I Find Your Lack Of Yakety Sax Disturbing

I Find Your Lack Of Yakety Sax Disturbing

I’m not sure if this is the best driving I’ve ever seen, or the worst. I suppose the commuters don’t have much of a say in the matter. The intersection seems to have been planned by the low bidder and constructed by a fleet of drunken toddlers. Placing a stop sign or two would have done a world of good, but it must have been too much for their budget to handle. It’s hard to pay for a road with goats and virgins; the exchange rate is just not in your favor.

When it comes right down to it the whole affair looks half finished. They all must have lost interest and gone home before they got around to painting the stripes.

Luckily, the lanes are just suggestions. As long as you drive between the pedestrians and glance out the windshield occasionally there shouldn’t be a problem. Drive fast, take chances, and never take your foot off the gas.

God help you if you’re on a motorcycle.

[Many thanks to the impeccable and good-looking Dad Of Home Schoolers for sending this along]

Crazed Viennese Brass Band Terrorizes Local Townspeople

Crazed Viennese Brass Band Terrorizes Local Townspeople

I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that improper tuba usage could run rampant. Well, there isn’t a literal connection, Dude — But wielding such a devastating weapon of mass cacophony requires years of experience. It should only be attempted by professionals.

I wonder how they even managed to get their hands on a real, live tuba. This isn’t something you can pick up at your local music shop and test out on their firing range. The government runs a background check on everyone who orders a tuba and it can only be purchased with permission from the President himself. I’m almost impressed.

[Many thanks to the celebrated Charles Schneider for introducing us to the antics of Mnozil Brass]