I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that improper tuba usage could run rampant. Well, there isn’t a literal connection, Dude — But wielding such a devastating weapon of mass cacophony requires years of experience. It should only be attempted by professionals.

I wonder how they even managed to get their hands on a real, live tuba. This isn’t something you can pick up at your local music shop and test out on their firing range. The government runs a background check on everyone who orders a tuba and it can only be purchased with permission from the President himself. I’m almost impressed.

[Many thanks to the celebrated Charles Schneider for introducing us to the antics of Mnozil Brass]