Wait until you see the true power of mashing together AC/DC and The Bee Gees. The resulting blast should create enough energy to either power every home in America for the next millennia or send the moon rocketing into the sun. Either way I’m feeling good about the results.
(Warning: mild salty language)
During peacetime it’s hard for people in the military to know what to do with themselves. I know exactly how they feel. If I don’t bathe in the blood of my enemies at least once a month I get all antsy and weird. It takes a lot of dudes to fill a bathtub full of blood, so I run out of enemies pretty quickly, which makes it even harder for me to keep up with my enemy slaying schedule.
Having nemeses has become a luxury for me. These days I’m lucky if I can find one vaguely despicable person to battle with. I can’t even hear the lamentations of their women, because they’re usually single and not looking to be in any sort of serious relationship right now, which is an absolute bummer for me. What on Earth is the point of defeating your enemies and seeing them driven before you if you’re unable to hear the lamentations of their women? I might as well give the whole business up and join the Australian Army. At least they get to go outside and play with their friends.
It’s a little known fact that this song plays on a loop in the elevator to hell, but it could be so much worse, so I’m thankful — at least it’s not Sultans of Swing.
I can’t believe this is what passes for shuffling cards these days. Yes, he’s got a lot of flash, but he’s only shuffling a few cards at a time. I guess since he’s a wizard it doesn’t really matter that he doesn’t shuffle very well, he’ll just alakazam the cards to be whatever he wants.
You can tell he’s a wizard because he doesn’t seem to have any sort of grasp on the concept of physics. Gravity seems to escape him too. He’s probably got gravity escaping from every orifice.