BSBFB

Just Another Day In Las Vegas

October 14, 2014 aubuchon

At first I thought that this was from a sketch comedy show, or it was a parody of some sort, or it was scripted and everyone was just playing along. Then I came to the sad realization that it was a real thing that happened and these are vaguely real people. At one point in time there was a crazed midget wandering the streets of Las Vegas, and for one reason or another he was detained by the local authorities. This video was probably broadcast on national television before being plastered all over the Intertunnel, which is even more troubling.

Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just wish someone told me sooner.

Wax On, Wax Off

October 10, 2014 aubuchon

When I eventually decide to spawn tiny people of my own, this is the only way I will ever wash them. It’s been scientifically proven that children are covered in a thin film of disgusting goo 100 percent of the time, so the only way to clean then off effectively is to take them out back and hose them down. When hosing them down isn’t enough, many people will resort to bathing their urchins in a swimming pool full of bleach, but sometimes that isn’t enough either. Perhaps the best way to bathe your guttersnipe is with an automated car wash.

It’s a win-win situation. Your truck gets a nice waxing and buffing, and so do your kids.

(Many thanks to Charles Schneider for sending this one our way)

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

October 8, 2014 aubuchon

(Warning: some salty language and lots of gratuitous violence)

Spinning around like an idiot until you accidentally hit someone is my favorite style of fighting. Next to back-alley hobo brawls, I can’t think of anything I’d be more likely to participate in or watch. I don’t really go for fighting in your underwear, that just seems a bit childish. What I would really like to see is businessmen MMA fighting. Two executives delivering astounding flying-heel kicks in their tassel oxfords seems much more interesting than two bald, sweaty, naked guys rolling all over each other. I’m all for gratuitous violence, but at least have a sense of style.

Laying Facedown In Dog Turds Has Never Looked So Cool

October 7, 2014 aubuchon

I wonder how many people stopped and stared at these guys as they rolled around the park for several hours taking a picture every time they moved a muscle. Personally, I would have left them to their business. My mother told me never to hang around with the weird men in the park with digital cameras. I think she was referring to the guys who would hide out in the bushes and take pictures of the swing set, so these guys might get a pass.

Remember, it’s okay to hang out with vagrants because they don’t have digital cameras. If you’re really nice they might show you a dead body or give you a swig from their hip flask.