This is a confirmation of my longtime theory that all washing machines are possessed by otherworldly spirits who won’t hesitate to crush you like a bug. Just another reason why we shouldn’t have these abominations in our home. They’re dangerous. Just think of the children. Won’t somebody please think about the children!
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
That was the most 80s thing I’ve seen all day, and I just finished watching every season of Miami Vice in chronological order while combing my mullet and listening to my favorite Spandau Ballet record on repeat.
Well, apparently someone took me up on my sarcastic suggestion to report the girls from the University of Alabama Sorority video for having fun, or not wearing Birkenstocks and wool socks, or not protesting outside of a Chik-Fil-A, or just generally seeming to have fun, which is verboten nowadays. Their video is yanked from the Intertunnel. This aggression will not stand.
In solidarity with our sisters in the sorority, we’ve decided to bring the heavy artillery to the imagined oppression fight. The heavy cannons. The big guns. The Berthas.