https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9PNkgv6QTI
Way out in East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of чувак. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. The чувак, he called himself the чувак. Now, чувак — that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the чувак that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
It’s nothing personal; I just find it hard to eat when someone is talking at me about torque, power-to-weight ratios, and things of that nature. I’m interested in cars, but only in the most cursory sense. I barely passed my license exam, and my driving has been compared to that of a quadriplegic with nothing left to live for. I deal with heavy traffic through heavy sedation, and I’m not allowed to operate a vehicle outside of the contiguous United States. When someone tries to have a sophisticated conversation with me about cars, I curl up in a ball and die a little. Other than that, I’m the perfect person to talk about cars with after I’ve finished my sandwich.
Answer: Homeless.
This reminds me of something interesting that happened to a friend of mine. Last year I was sitting out on my front porch when my friend rode up on a brand new, twelve-speed, top-of-the-line bicycle. I mean, this was the Rolls Royce of bicycles. It had an extra-padded seat, three dual-action cup holders, and a built-in tire inflation machine, so your tires were always at the perfect pressure.
I was a little awestruck at first. To my knowledge, my friend doesn’t come from a very wealthy family, and he doesn’t have any sort of job that I know of. Unless that bike fell from the sky, I really didn’t know how he could have gotten it.
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