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Me? I Wanted To Be A Waterskiier, But I Could Never Find A Lake On A Hill
The true Borderline Sociopathic Buoy — er, Boy — is clever. He never runs when he can walk. Never walks when he can ride. Never rides when he can lounge. Never lounges when he can sleep. And he never paddles out when he can surf the canal instead.
Bears Repeating
Ah, bears. We sleep with a stuffed version of them, and we make them into funny hats for Beefeaters. It’s their own fault for acting so lovable all the time. No one treats a tiger like that. But bears can’t help looking like they’re having fun all the time. They even look cute with a big, pink ring around their muzzle when they’re eating a baby seal. You could never get away with that. But bears can. They’re cute and cuddly, and you’re a schlub without a fur coat.
The second video looks fake-ish to my eye, but then again, about 95 percent of the breasts on TV are fake, and I find myself looking at them anyway. What the hell.
[Thanks to reader and commenter and friend Casey Klahn for sending those along]
Step One: Fall Off Mount Everest
Step Two: Fall off the wagon.
(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest, and Lee Webber, for sending that one along)