Ah, bears. We sleep with a stuffed version of them, and we make them into funny hats for Beefeaters. It’s their own fault for acting so lovable all the time. No one treats a tiger like that. But bears can’t help looking like they’re having fun all the time. They even look cute with a big, pink ring around their muzzle when they’re eating a baby seal. You could never get away with that. But bears can. They’re cute and cuddly, and you’re a schlub without a fur coat. 

The second video looks fake-ish to my eye, but then again, about 95 percent of the breasts on TV are fake, and I find myself looking at them anyway. What the hell.

[Thanks to reader and commenter and friend Casey Klahn for sending those along]