Life, The Universe, and Everything
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Explosions Make For Excellent Educational Programming
When I was a boy, I had to go to school for some reason. I’m not sure why I went, but everyone I knew seemed rather keen on the concept. I went along with it for a while, but I never got the hang of it. I couldn’t remember my locker combination, I never understood the concept of homework, and I had to eat school lunches. Whenever anybody tried to take my lunch money, I would bet them within an inch of their life, so I always had money for bad lunches. If I was smart I would have just given them the money.
Explain, As You Would To A Child
I don’t know what’s happening; please send help. I need an adult. My brain has fallen and it can’t get up. What is this? What do? How do? Who do? Please elaborate, fellows. Why are we traveling towards Saturn at the speed of light? Is this what scientists are getting up to these days? I thought they were supposed to be saving the Universe from its inevitable heat-death in 4 billion years or inventing a cure for being alive for longer than 8 years. I didn’t know it was in their job description to simulate traveling through Saturn’s rings at the speed of light. I’ve seen their job description, and that isn’t in it.
I’m Not Saying It Was Aliens — But It Was Aliens
Trust me, I watch the history channel; I know that it’s definitely aliens. It’s unequivocally aliens. There is no answer other than aliens. If this was a multiple choice test all the answers would be aliens.
Now that I’ve strongly expressed my opinions on the matter of aliens, it’s time for me to backpedal and go into the fetal position. It’s probably not aliens. When you look to the stars and see nothing staring back at you except for a poorly drawn ladle, then it’s probably not aliens. When your crops are defaced by giant flying saucers, then it’s probably not aliens. When democrats revert to their reptilian form, and devour their secretary whole, then who cares if it was aliens? Run away before they notice you’re there.