I don’t know what’s happening; please send help. I need an adult. My brain has fallen and it can’t get up. What is this? What do? How do? Who do? Please elaborate, fellows. Why are we traveling towards Saturn at the speed of light? Is this what scientists are getting up to these days? I thought they were supposed to be saving the Universe from its inevitable heat-death in 4 billion years or inventing a cure for being alive for longer than 8 years. I didn’t know it was in their job description to simulate traveling through Saturn’s rings at the speed of light. I’ve seen their job description, and that isn’t in it.

I don’t think anyone would want to go to Saturn anyways, let alone get there at the speed of light. Sure, it might be a nice place to drive by during your interstellar journey. In the grand scheme of things it might seem a bit quaint, but it’s a good local attraction. I heard a rumor that there’s 10 planets 10 times as big as Saturn with 10 times as many rings a few galaxies away. There’s a really great restaurant at the end of the galaxy, too. There’s so much more to do than hang around in our back-water outpost here in the butt-end of the universe