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Category: honorary borderline sociopaths

That’s All Well And Good And All…

That’s All Well And Good And All…


OK, so the boat’s on fire. The firey boat is full of fuel, promising further firey boat goodness. The skipper has abandoned ship, Gilligan is pan roasted by now, Ginger is back in her trailer on the set calling her agent demanding a real career. So far I get it.

Then Mister Fireboat shows up. He swings into action. He’s not afraid of a little gasoline-fueled explosion. He’s probably not afraid because he’s just a regular boater, so that means he’s drunk. He should be afraid, but he isn’t; it’s the hallmark of the True Borderline Sociopathic Boy.

OK, so he saves the flaming boat. He don’t need no steenkin’ hoses, or ladders, or firetrucks, or extinguishers, or anything your run of the mill fireman needs. I only have one question: How’s he going to get a cat out of a tree using a speedboat? Huh, smart guy?

[Many thanks to friend of the BSBFB Charles Schneider for sending that one along]

It Takes A Tough Man To Make A Tender Chicken

It Takes A Tough Man To Make A Tender Chicken

Forgive my tender chicken analogy; I always like to draw connections between acting and cooking. If you don’t cook convincingly no one will respect you. Just throwing together any old thing and calling it edible is absolutely disgraceful.

You’ve got to bread the chicken with style. You’ve got to marinade with a little panache. Tenderize it, don’t mutilate it. Think of how the chicken would feel in this situation, and stir fry like you mean it. You can’t handle the chicken if you’re a blinking, curly-haired idiot, strutting around with a fake German accent. That’s just silly.

By the same token, you can’t cook if you’re Oliver Reed because you’ll burn the building down and kill everyone inside; but that’s just like, my opinion, man

Minnesota: Where Canadians Fear To Tread

Minnesota: Where Canadians Fear To Tread

Frosty.

Braving the environment is much more notable than the drivel we normally gawk at here on the BSBFB. BASE jumping and parkour are both alright, I guess. If you weren’t feeling all too adventurous, you could simply break your kneecaps from the comfort of your own kitchen. It would give you the same effect as regular parkour, most people just choose to do it outside so they don’t make a mess of the linoleum. Once you throw Mother Nature into the mix everything gets much more complicated.

Chipping the ice off your face every morning should be an indicator that you’re snoozing where no man should tread — but that’s the point. People are capable of performing enormous feats simply because they feel like it. Sleeping outdoors in the dead of winter in a hammock, for giggles, is no exception. What this guy is doing makes Arctic exploration look passé.

Refreshingly, the fellow in the video seems like a real stand up guy. There’s no salty language, and he has a smile on his face the whole time. A lot can be said about that. He’s also the only person I’ve ever heard refer to -20 degrees Fahrenheit as “balmy”. Then say, “I don’t think this frostbite is going to slow me down from eating this apple fritter.”

A little frostbite never hurt anyone. Dad says it builds character.

[A big Borderline Sociopathic thank you to Leon for reading, commenting, and supplying us with this video]

Crazed Viennese Brass Band Terrorizes Local Townspeople

Crazed Viennese Brass Band Terrorizes Local Townspeople

I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that improper tuba usage could run rampant. Well, there isn’t a literal connection, Dude — But wielding such a devastating weapon of mass cacophony requires years of experience. It should only be attempted by professionals.

I wonder how they even managed to get their hands on a real, live tuba. This isn’t something you can pick up at your local music shop and test out on their firing range. The government runs a background check on everyone who orders a tuba and it can only be purchased with permission from the President himself. I’m almost impressed.

[Many thanks to the celebrated Charles Schneider for introducing us to the antics of Mnozil Brass]