Forgive my tender chicken analogy; I always like to draw connections between acting and cooking. If you don’t cook convincingly no one will respect you. Just throwing together any old thing and calling it edible is absolutely disgraceful.

You’ve got to bread the chicken with style. You’ve got to marinade with a little panache. Tenderize it, don’t mutilate it. Think of how the chicken would feel in this situation, and stir fry like you mean it. You can’t handle the chicken if you’re a blinking, curly-haired idiot, strutting around with a fake German accent. That’s just silly.

By the same token, you can’t cook if you’re Oliver Reed because you’ll burn the building down and kill everyone inside; but that’s just like, my opinion, man