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Category: dashcam videos

North Korea Is Best Korea

North Korea Is Best Korea

I heard a rumor that Koreans were aggressive drivers, but I don’t think I could have possibly prepared myself for this. You can absolutely count me out of anything that involves boxing, Judo, and food preparation. Call me a sissy if you like, but these guys look hardcore, and I’m about as hardcore as a sea sponge with asthma.

I bet this wouldn’t happen in the peaceful rolling hills of North Korea. It’s sunny every day in North Korea, and the people are just as friendly as the weather. Nothing bad ever happens in North Korea — ever. Of course, no one actually has any cars, and even if they did they couldn’t move around or go anywhere, bit it’s the thought that counts. At least you’d be safe from roving vans full of street toughs who will leap from their vehicle and cut your cabbage at the slightest provocation.

As Soon As This Baby Hits 88 Miles Per Hour — It Becomes A Felony Offense

As Soon As This Baby Hits 88 Miles Per Hour — It Becomes A Felony Offense

This guy really seems to have the whole getaway part of his getaway down pat, it’s what happens afterward that needs some work. Last time I checked, posting a video of yourself committing a crime to the vast network of tubes that is the Intertunnel, isn’t a very bright idea. Then again, nothing that happened in the video is a very bright idea, so I’ll let it slide. The police, however, won’t let it slide, and I imagine that they’re going to want to have a little chat with our speed-racer friend once they get a load of this video.

It’s okay though, I promise not to tell if you won’t tell. We all know how well the Intertunnel can keep a secret, so this guy is safe.

SpongeBob Isn’t Going To Take Your Crap, Dude

SpongeBob Isn’t Going To Take Your Crap, Dude

When you get your ass handed to you by SpongeBob and Mickey Mouse you really need to rethink you life choices.

It’s sort of like an intervention, but with more blood and pummeling and less talking about your feelings. The universe is telling you to stop hitting golf balls off the top of your dreary apartment complex into the equally dreary kindergarten next door. It may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but the bad karma associated with assaulting toddlers with sporting equipment is comparable to a minor war crime. If this guy doesn’t stop whatever it is he’s doing to upset the universe, Felix the Cat is going to rise from the nether and blow off his kneecaps with a 12 gauge.

God help him if Tweety Bird gets involved; they’ll be finding bits of him on the side of the highway for the next decade.

(Many thanks to the one and only Charles Schneider for sending this along.)

BEEP BEEP, GET OUT OF THE WAY TOVARICH

BEEP BEEP, GET OUT OF THE WAY TOVARICH

Not one, not two, but three crashes in a 40 second period. You need to get out of bed pretty early in the morning to do that much damage. Your schedule would be pretty hectic. Get up in the morning and immediately go out and hurl yourself into traffic. Then after lunch crash at least one car into a tree or pedestrian. Then before you go to bed, make sure to set up spike strips all up and down your street. That’s how they get things done in the Eastern Bloc.

What this footage didn’t show was the twelve car pileup that eventually disabled the dashcam. Then they all drove off a cliff like lemmings, because it’s a lot safer than driving in Russia.