When you get your ass handed to you by SpongeBob and Mickey Mouse you really need to rethink you life choices.

It’s sort of like an intervention, but with more blood and pummeling and less talking about your feelings. The universe is telling you to stop hitting golf balls off the top of your dreary apartment complex into the equally dreary kindergarten next door. It may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but the bad karma associated with assaulting toddlers with sporting equipment is comparable to a minor war crime. If this guy doesn’t stop whatever it is he’s doing to upset the universe, Felix the Cat is going to rise from the nether and blow off his kneecaps with a 12 gauge.

God help him if Tweety Bird gets involved; they’ll be finding bits of him on the side of the highway for the next decade.

(Many thanks to the one and only Charles Schneider for sending this along.)