Australia: where even the trees want you dead.

I’m sure that you all know about Australia’s reputation for being one of the most dangerous places on earth to live, swim, eat, sleep, drink, or just hang around minding your own business, but it can’t be that bad, can it? There are some places in America that are much more dangerous than Australia for the sole reason that there’s very little chance that you’ll be shot by a kangaroo for your loose change. Naturally they have venomous snakes, spiders, fish, and coral reefs, but the also have a lot of deadly animals that aren’t venomous at all. At least the sharks will simply eat you instead of making you crawl around until your blood turns to goo and your muscles explode. By the same token, I don’t think you can develop an antivenin for having your head bitten off.

If you do live in Australia, I think the best course of action is to stay inside and smash anything that comes through the door with a claw hammer. If you’re quick enough, and hold your fire around the pizza delivery guy, you’ll be fine.

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