Eating watermelon is a total guy thing. Don’t misunderstand; girls eat watermelon too. They do it wrong, though. Girls do everything wrong.
Girls drive with both hands on the steering wheel. Their clothes usually match, They want to go to movies where no one gets strangled or shot or strangled or decapitated or anything. And they never spit their watermelon seeds on the floor, like you’re supposed to.
Of course eating watermelon is great, but feeding watermelons to your hippo is even better. Only a guy would feed watermelons to their hippo. It’s a guy thing. I don’t want any girls barging in and trying to horn in on our hippo feeding. You girls have drapes and Jane Austen novels and shoe shopping to amuse you. Give us something of our own. Let us feed watermelons to our hippos in peace.