I met a Finn once, it was an extremely traumatic experience. He was laying in the snow, completely naked, while drinking Akvavit straight from the bottle, and singing the Finnish national anthem. He could have just been a very confused Swede, but I decided to give him a wide berth regardless of his true nationality. Finns are like constantly inebriated Polar bears. You should avoid them at all costs, especially if you’re a Russki.

Thank god I wasn’t a Russian, or he would have killed me on sight. The Finns are the only people the Russians truly fear, and with good reason. The Finnish are completely bonkers, and not your run-of-the-mill bonkers, either. They have a special blend of arctic insanity that makes them perfect honorary borderline sociopaths. Godspeed, you crazy Finns. Just stay the hell away from me and we’ll all be fine.,