Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Robbie. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Robbie, he called himself Robbie. Now,Robbie — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.

But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call Scotland the Grayest Place on God’s Green Earth. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some strange folks there. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what — after seeing the Netherlands, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And mostly in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.

Sometimes there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about Robbie here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s Robbie, in the Scotland. And even if he lives in a hellhole — and Robbie was most certainly does. Quite possibly the most hellish landscape in the UK, which would place it high in the runnin’ for being most hellish worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But — aw, hell; I’ve done introduced him enough.