I’m not very fond of swords or anything,  but they’re alright. It’s important to remember that those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t, which is more than enough of a reason to stay away from them entirely.

Remember that scene in Indiana Jones when the master swordsman comes out and does all those tricks with his sword? Remember how there was no way Indy could ever beat him in sword-on-sword combat? Remember who won that fight? That’s the problem with swords, they’re so superfluous the only reason to have one is if it shoots lightning and cures IBS. The only time bringing a knife to any sort of fight will yield good results is if you’re attacking a quadriplegic. Even then, someone  might pop a couple rounds off into your samurai-looking behind for being stupid enough to bring a sword to any sort of fight.

If only swords somehow magically shot bullets, and had all of the properties of a gun, and essentially was a gun in every form and function. That would be immensely useful. On second thought, I’m pretty sure they invented something like that a while ago — it’s called a gun.