Grab My Arm — Other Arm — My Other Arm

Grab My Arm — Other Arm — My Other Arm

At least the bear has a bright future in IT if the Muppet Show ever tanks. He’s a natural.  I worked at an IT call center for a while; then I started threatening to behead everyone who called. I was quickly relieved of my duties, but I’ll fondly remember my three days of gainful employment. As you can imagine I never had the patience. I don’t suffer fools gladly, and fools call the police on me often. It’s not a good combination when you have to interface with humans every day. On the other hand, the bear seems like he can handle anything.

He’d probably be a lot better at the job than I was. I barely know how to use a computer, so telling someone how to fix theirs shouldn’t have been in my job description. I was much better at making coffee and terrifying the interns. Even though he’s a bear and probably can’t operate a keyboard, he’ll definitely be able to figure it out. At least he’ll be better than a lot of the people that I worked with. On my first day I had to tell a woman everything that I knew about computers. While that might not seem like much, it was a lot of help for her. When I found her, she had the mouse on the floor and was operating it with her foot. Apparently, she used to be a seamstress and thought you used the mouse like a foot pedal. After a few hours of explaining how buttons worked, I convinced her to try using her hands.

She wasn’t even the worst. My boss asked me to connect his LinkedIn, Google+, Facebook, Skype, Twitter, MySpace, Tumblr, Instagram, Friendster, Flickr,, LiveJournal, Digg, and Blogger accounts to one program, so he didn’t have to log in and out of all his many social media accounts. I jokingly asked him if he had a life account, and he demanded that I send him a link so he could check it out. I audibly sighed and left his office. In that moment I knew I wasn’t cut out for IT. I was later reminded that I wasn’t cut out for IT when I chased my colleague around the office with an ax for telling me to try turning it off and on again for the one-hundred-millionth time.

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