Ah, the French: When they’re not busy surrendering, they’re throwing themselves off of cliffs for giggles. There are many people that I know who wouldn’t oppose seeing a Frenchman thrown off a cliff. I assume they mean without a parachute, but I consider that to be inhumane. Someone would have to clean up the mess afterwards, and I can’t think of anything stinkier than a Frenchman’s giblets.

Naturally I have some personal bias against the French that I should admit to. One time I was at a French restaurant and the waiter was quite rude to me. The fellow wouldn’t take my order for the longest time. I tried everything, but he was nearly impossible to flag down. It’s true that you shouldn’t attribute to malice what can easily be explained by stupidity, but he was stonewalling me. He would sidestep me every time I flung myself at his feet begging for food.

After a while I remembered some advice that a friend gave me, and I started shouting my order in German. The waiter started apologizing profusely for making me wait, and offered me a bottle of the best wine in the house for free. Funny how things work out that way.