The Red Bull is strong with this one. Not only does he go down a slope without falling down, he spins around without falling down. He’s the one we’ve been waiting for. He makes Shaun White look like Carrot Top in a frock. He’s ascended to the point where he doesn’t need a snowboard anymore. If he really felt like it he could just levitate down the side of the mountain, but he likes to leave the board on because the weight presents a bit of a challenge.

The depth and speed of his pseudo-pirouette makes grown men weep and women cry out in anguish. If he took up ballet it wouldn’t be gay, because he was doing it. If I knew anything about snowboarding I’d give a much more detailed commentary, but I don’t, so this is the best I can do. If he got any cooler, he’d freeze on the spot and become one with the slope.