That’ll Teach Ya
Never let up on the little guys. They’re often sneaky good. Federer should have remembered to always crush your enemies, and drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of their mothers.
Sober Foosball, Bigfoot, Nessie, and Other Unlikely Things
Has anyone ever played foosball while sober? Just wondering. I know I never have, but you never know, maybe someone, somewhere has. Of course while I’m open to evidence that sober foosball is a thing, no one is ever going to convince me that sober Pac-Man was ever a thing. I know, I was there, in the arcade, with a roll of quarters. Well, at least I think I was. For some reason, a lot of it was a blur.
If You Were a Real Man, You’d Dive Into a Pool in the End
Please, this is child’s play. What you really need to do is build one of these on a 100-yard bowling lane. This will all make sense in a second. Next, bring a bowling ball onto the ride; as a bonus, you’ll have more weight for your momentum. When you go over the top of the swing, don’t stop. Keep swinging yourself for a few minutes to gain some speed. Finally, when you’re at Mach 5 and spinning like there’s no tomorrow, let go of the bowling ball and roll a strike.
That’s how I do it. But I’d have to leave the house and go outside, so forget it.
Welcome To the MMA Rodeo
When I was a little kid, all the old men sat on the lawn on Sunday on those lawn chairs with the fiberglass straps, drank beer from steel cans, and talked about the most popular sports in the country. They never talked about pro football, basketball, soccer, or golf. They talked about boxing, horse racing, college football, and hockey.
The popularity of sports waxes and wanes. When Bill Russell won all those titles with the Celtics, the Boston Garden was empty half the time. The boxing matches sold out, though. Hell. the wrestling matches were sold out. Ted Williams played his last game at Fenway in front of thousands of fans disguised as seats. I can guarantee that ESPN will look very different in 2025 than it did in 2015. If it’s still on TV.