No matter how old you are, matchbox cars never go out of style. Whether you’re a little kid dipping them in wet sand, or an adult covering them with wrapping paper there are a million ways to customize your hot wheels. Even if you should know better.

While it’s an indisputable fact that the 2003 Ford Escape is the greatest automobile ever made, some people seem to have latched onto the idea that the Volksenegger Golf is anything more than a Burberry-soaked, chav-wagon. It’s driven by the sort of people who hang around parking lots after dark, so they can meet up with other Golf owners and murmur about their cheap body kits. I’m not just basing this on something I read on the Intertunnel, either. I’ve got cold, hard proof. I know three people in real life who own Volkswiffle Golfs, and they’re all tremendous arseholes. I know that all generalizations are false, but if you dive a Volkskraken Golf I’m going to avoid you at parties and say mean things about you when you leave the room.

Oh yeah, and they also did a really good job wrapping the car, or whatever.