I Noticed That I Happen To Be Considerably Less British Than You, So We’ll Call It Even
Well, he’s got me beat. I never have more than 50 dollars in the safe at any time so hitting me up for cash is definitely disappointing. I did earn a considerable amount of money when I was very young, but it’s all gone now. I spent it all on ludicrously expensive gummi worms imported from the gummi mines of São Paulo, which is known for their quality gummis. I’ll admit that I’m strangely attracted to the word gummi, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m one cheap dinner date away from going broke. When I gaze long into my wallet the wallet also gazes into me. If Nietzsche knew that 125 years later a lowly cretin would butcher his line with such glee I don’t think he would have bothered writing it down — or maybe he would have cheered up a bit. Existentialists take themselves so seriously for some reason. If he ever looked in the mirror and saw his righteous mustache I think he would have lightened up a little.
Back to the material world: my wallet is an abyss to reckon with. Even if I put a couple dollars in it the money would disappear faster than I could ever get around to spending it. I don’t ever buy anything, so I guess there isn’t a problem, but I’d like to have option. I like to politely decline. It’s a lot more satisfying to say that you won’t do something instead of saying that you can’t. I’d rather have the money and decline to spend it instead of having no money and not spending it anyways. The difference is subtle, but it makes a world of difference.