… Slayer fits in with the Radio Disney vibe a bit too well. Yes, I’m well aware that they’re unsubtly singing about Josef Mengele while trying to be as metal as humanly possible, but a beard and leather pants don’t magically make you hardcore. I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if they’ve guest-starred on an episode of Mickey Mouse’s Play House at one point or another. Maybe I’d think differently if the music was back to normal, but I’m not really sure at this point.

I think my Metal-o-meter is broken or something. I don’t even think I know what metal is anymore. Perhaps if we tried a different band they’d fair better.

Nope, that didn’t help. Without the context offered by the music everything seems a bit silly. I mean, the song is immeasurably improved, but it’s still not quite my cup of tea. Everyone seems to be taking themselves a bit too seriously. There’s no camp, no theatrics, and they don’t seem to be in on the joke. We’ve got to roll back the clock and roll up the hard-rockin’. Music shouldn’t be as fun as a trip to the morgue; It can be so much sillier.

That’s much better.

It’s also important to note that metal can be used for good as well. If anything get’s disgustingly poppy, you can always bring it down a few pegs with some nice blast beats. The outfits don’t change very much, and they’re all wearing the same shade of eyeliner, but at least metal makes Culture Club sort of listenable.