Ah, the Japanese: what won’t they do? I’ve seen a lot of strange things come out of Japan since they emerged from the primordial Intertunnel goo, but this is by far the most sane Japanese video I have ever seen. Other than the psycho babbling over the whole thing, it’s thoroughly wholesome. There aren’t any maids being assaulted by octopuses, there’s no intense body horror, and everyone is dressed appropriately. Everything is thoroughly aboveboard — and that bothers me.

This video is good, clean, sensible fun, and I wish it wasn’t. Where are the midget sumo wrestlers? Where are all the disturbingly realistic body pillows? Where have they put all the lingerie-wearing anthropomorphic farm animals? What happened to the Japan we all know and love? After watching a YouTube video from Japan, we shouldn’t have to question their lack of tentacle porn and frightening animatronics. The only thing we should ask ourselves is whether we bombed them too much — or not enough.