I don’t trust anyone who says they like snow. It’s nothing personal, I just think that they’re defective human beings. Anyone with an affinity for something that will cause your smaller extremities to turn purple and fall off after prolonged exposure should be committed. Don’t get me wrong, I like watching movies with snow in them, and videos where snow is peppering the backdrop. I simply don’t like being within 500 miles of anywhere that’s had snowfall in the past century, which is an immense problem when you live in northern New England.

Someday I’ll move somewhere with less snow, but I’m snowed in right now, so I can’t move very far past my front door. This might be affecting my opinion slightly.