Do You Smell That? That’s The Smell Of Victory — And Shaq

Do You Smell That? That’s The Smell Of Victory — And Shaq

I feel like something terrible has happened to me, but I can’t remember what it was. It feels like I was abducted by aliens, except aliens have the decency to give you a lollipop and a kind word after they probe you. Perhaps I’m thinking of something else, but the sentiment remains the same. I don’t appreciate unsolicited probing from anyone, and I especially don’t appreciate it coming from a Gold Bond foot powder commercial. I really don’t know how much information you can gather from a bum, but I absolutely forbid anyone trying to gather any information from mine. My body is a temple, among other things, and trans-dimensional Shaq-like beings are not allowed access to the service entrance.

Coincidentally trans-dimensional Shaq-like beings is the name of my Ace Of Base tribute band, but that’s a story for another time.

4 thoughts on “Do You Smell That? That’s The Smell Of Victory — And Shaq”

  1. Yikes – and I thought those commercials were disturbing enough to start with.

    Incidentally, just so’s you know it’s not Ace of Base, it’s Ass of Bass. I wouldn’t want you to spell it wrong on your signage and have people get all confused. It’s a little known fact that when they started their garage band up there in Swede Land, they were really into fishing. Most of their original tunes were sea shanties and odes to lutefisk, but strangely those didn’t catch on anywhere but Fjordinia.

  2. What’s with the several fast cuts to some schmuck scarfing a cheeseburger? I thought subliminal cuts were illegal.

  3. Hey Julie, thanks for reading and commenting.

    I’m sorry, it was quite silly of me to muck up Ass of Bass’s real name. It seems pretty obvious when you look back on some of their greatest hits, like All She Wants Is Shrimp and The Scup, which was later renamed The Sign.

  4. Hello Stu, thanks for reading and commenting.

    Their subliminal messages didn’t have the right effect on me; if anything it made me want to avoid hamburgers at all costs. On the other hand, I do have the urge to grow a third arm out of the center of my chest, so I have another armpit to apply deodorant to.

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